Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
