We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
