My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
