dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
