but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize