Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
