I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
my liver is dry heaving
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