and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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