addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
