I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
