Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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