i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize