Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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