That's intense
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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