I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
