he thought i was a dude.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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