make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
