I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
