cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i think im in europe. pls send help
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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