is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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