I puked a lego.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
