Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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