I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
FUCK WHALES
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