hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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