his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
