The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
