Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize