I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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