well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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