Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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