I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
