Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
