Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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