The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
