I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
