Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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