this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
ok first of all what the fuck
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
