I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
