So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
