Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
