I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
