Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
