i already hear my dad disowning me
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
