ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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