another moral hangover. fuck.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Idk if I want to put a bra on
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
