i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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