Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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