So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
