I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I got inside last night via doggy door
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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