I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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