Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
