it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
