Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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