I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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