Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
