Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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