Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
