Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
