i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it's like iHOP with fire
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This is the high leading the old right now
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
