That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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