I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize