he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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