she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
