My room smells like vodka and shame
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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