This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There r osticjed everywhere
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
