Its about making memories worth repressing
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Come on in and take your pants off
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