he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
