I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He keeps bees of course he's weird
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
