ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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